1. ) Since my fiancee left me, I’ve let go of a lot of things that make me happy. I’ve stopped knitting and spinning. I stopped making dinner and making my bed. I stopped cleaning, I stopped reading, I stopped playing minecraft and updating this blog – basically everything that brings me joy, I let go of. I let it slip out of my hands as I struggled to cope with the vast expanse of loneliness I felt. Everything that reminded me of him I got rid of, and since he was the main source of joy in my life, I inadvertently lost everything that made me smile.
2.) This was the wrong choice.
3.) I didn’t make the choice consciously. I just pushed away everything that made me happy. It wasn’t until this week when my best friend and roommate pointed out to me that I seem a little listless lately.
4.) I’m doing my best to remedy the despair I’m feeling. That means picking up my old hobbies and trying again to feel that satisfaction and joy.
5.) I’ve missed you guys – and I’ve missed this. Typing in a place where I feel comfortable, writing on a page that belongs to me, clarifying my thoughts into words.
6.) I’m knitting again too. I’ve also started using my planner again. 🙂
7.) I”m moving on, and I’m moving up – I’m just taking it one step at a time and treading gently as I am still fragile.
8.) I’m making goals. I’m making plans. I’m looking for things to knit and people to talk to and places to hang out and basically trying to claw my way out of this shell. I ordered yarn yesterday. I’ve got a project or two in the works. Considering a little WIP wrangling. Trying to get back in my groove.
9.) It’s going to take a while, but I’m glad to have you here with me.
10.) Also. Thanks for being here. I’ll be back soon, but as for what I’ll be back with… remains TBD.
11.) Send me knitting patterns. <3